i just got off all my workload today... it's been a tough week... my 3rd day and what i've noticed is that the workload is piling up... and i just realized that i don't even go on breaks or go to the restroom to take a p***. I am a workaholic, that's right. I'm a self confessed workaholic.
i'm about to go home but thought that i have to relax and sit for a few minutes before i leave the office. I'm tired... but this is a lot better cause then when I get home, i get to sleep... i love to sleep soundly... The past weeks, there is always 1 or 2 nights that I won't be able to sleep well and I always look forward on the next day because it guarantees me of a goodnight sleep due to exhaustion. Talk about a slavedriver.
oh well.. i miss the beach. last year i was even more loaded with work and i get lesser sleep but i was definitely rocking!!! i was like in the beach at least once or twice a week... it releases all the stress... loved it..
anyway... i haven't gone to the beach for this summer, well.. except the last week of feb but that doesn't count, summer does not officially start until april 1, right???
i hope to be able to go to the beach soon... i'm tired...
oh well.. gotta go home now...
gonna get a good sleep... hopefully i will wake up in the right side of the bed.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
the kill
i suddenly knew that this is my song... Ive been in love with you for 5 years... 5 long years... im crazy...
Kill
Well you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will
Could it be that everything goes around by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be?
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
Hey hey, hey hey
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away
I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel I wish I could meet you
I'll pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heath Mizer song goes
It's just like being alone
Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting
I've done these You kill me
You've got some nerve
But can't face your mistakes
Hey hey, hey hey I know what I should do but I just can't turn away
So go on, love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Gotta take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
And so much regret I know what you want to say
I know it but can't help but feel indifferently
I loved you and I should have said it
But tell me, just what has it ever meant?
I can't help it baby, this is who I am
Sorry but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me
You build me up but just to watch me break
Hey hey, hey hey
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away
... i really hope i can walk away...
but you're always there...
Kill
Well you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will
Could it be that everything goes around by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be?
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
Hey hey, hey hey
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away
I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel I wish I could meet you
I'll pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heath Mizer song goes
It's just like being alone
Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting
I've done these You kill me
You've got some nerve
But can't face your mistakes
Hey hey, hey hey I know what I should do but I just can't turn away
So go on, love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Gotta take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
And so much regret I know what you want to say
I know it but can't help but feel indifferently
I loved you and I should have said it
But tell me, just what has it ever meant?
I can't help it baby, this is who I am
Sorry but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me
You build me up but just to watch me break
Hey hey, hey hey
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away
... i really hope i can walk away...
but you're always there...
Thursday, April 13, 2006
depressed.. depressed... depressed...
before i continue on what i have written before.. just wanted to say that i am really depressed these days. i feel alone. i can't seem to find the path that im trying to walk on. i have my family, my friends (i actually have a lot of friends - but sometimes i wonder who my real friends are) and my work... oops.. sumthing's missing. i don't have a significant other. is that why i'm depressed? and i feel alone? hmnn.. i've always hold that thought in my mind. that the reason for this is a significant other who'll walk with me on my path..
interesting..
interesting..
Monday, April 03, 2006
my life...
i'm 25 years young and am supposed to be having the time of my life. Instead I am cramped inside the world where you need to get your ass off to work on a daily basis and work... work.. work..
I was born and raised in the province, 2-3 hour drive from Manila. As a young girl, i don't really remember having big problems except when I have my occassional fights with my mom or my sister. But aside from that, my childhood was pretty normal -- or to other people, you can call it boring...
The thrill started when i went to college and studied in the best university in the counry - University of the Philippines... I have always dreamt of being independent but studying in UP was more than I expected. I had the best time of my life in college. I guess I am pretty smart to get away with good grades -- to think I don't really study that much and what I love is go out, party, drink and go boys hunting.. School was good to me... I never got the chance to experience having a demeaning 5 in my subjects even if I was a regular candidate for dropping on majority of my subjects, still i got away with it...
College was even made more exciting by my sorority.. Joining a sorority was a lot more fun and fulfilling that I expected it to be.. It also needed a lot of work... When I joined my sorority, my firsthand idea was that it's all going to be party, booze and boys... boy, was i in for a shock. We had to do a lot of political things and socio cultural activities. On top of our agenda is politics. And since I already got my way inside the sorority, I eventually got myself in the middle of a lot of stuff, I was a very active advocate of our priniciples and objectives. I had fun and as a person, it made me grow a lot.
College was a rough sail.. I had my first love, first heartbreak in college... i grew up and learned about life...
UP made me independent in every way possible... I was quite a campus figure in my own right(kidding aside).. I actually cared about being popular and tried my best to hide it and appear as nonchalant about my being popular and all(it was all superficial)... But i knew better, i love being talked about and having people know me by my name... I was like one of those popular matinee idols though at a different domain... and i loved it. loved every single minute of it.
I was always on the spotlight, i loved being the center of attention. I dated almost all the boys i liked. All my projects were a blast. I go out every weekend not to count the weekdays that i also party.
Whew! what a life i had back thenn... I was living the "life", the one that I always thought only existed in the movies but nah.. i was able to experience it.. all the glory, fun and pain it caused me.
It was like living a double life, i had an image to protect... When I was elected as the sorority's head, it was the highlight of my college career... I got invited at almost every party or whatever event is happening. Most of my girlfriends want me as their head honcho in going to these parties. With the boys, I was just as popular... hahahahaha.. talk about my ego back then... getting all the guys to call and text me... ask me out.. the problem was i knew that i was a prized catch then, that i can have any guy i like... i played hard to get.. i was probably the biggest flirt in campus...
As much as i denied it then, when i contemplate on it now.. whew.. i was capable of a lot of things... hehehehe...
this is to be continued... i'll finish this up later...
I was born and raised in the province, 2-3 hour drive from Manila. As a young girl, i don't really remember having big problems except when I have my occassional fights with my mom or my sister. But aside from that, my childhood was pretty normal -- or to other people, you can call it boring...
The thrill started when i went to college and studied in the best university in the counry - University of the Philippines... I have always dreamt of being independent but studying in UP was more than I expected. I had the best time of my life in college. I guess I am pretty smart to get away with good grades -- to think I don't really study that much and what I love is go out, party, drink and go boys hunting.. School was good to me... I never got the chance to experience having a demeaning 5 in my subjects even if I was a regular candidate for dropping on majority of my subjects, still i got away with it...
College was even made more exciting by my sorority.. Joining a sorority was a lot more fun and fulfilling that I expected it to be.. It also needed a lot of work... When I joined my sorority, my firsthand idea was that it's all going to be party, booze and boys... boy, was i in for a shock. We had to do a lot of political things and socio cultural activities. On top of our agenda is politics. And since I already got my way inside the sorority, I eventually got myself in the middle of a lot of stuff, I was a very active advocate of our priniciples and objectives. I had fun and as a person, it made me grow a lot.
College was a rough sail.. I had my first love, first heartbreak in college... i grew up and learned about life...
UP made me independent in every way possible... I was quite a campus figure in my own right(kidding aside).. I actually cared about being popular and tried my best to hide it and appear as nonchalant about my being popular and all(it was all superficial)... But i knew better, i love being talked about and having people know me by my name... I was like one of those popular matinee idols though at a different domain... and i loved it. loved every single minute of it.
I was always on the spotlight, i loved being the center of attention. I dated almost all the boys i liked. All my projects were a blast. I go out every weekend not to count the weekdays that i also party.
Whew! what a life i had back thenn... I was living the "life", the one that I always thought only existed in the movies but nah.. i was able to experience it.. all the glory, fun and pain it caused me.
It was like living a double life, i had an image to protect... When I was elected as the sorority's head, it was the highlight of my college career... I got invited at almost every party or whatever event is happening. Most of my girlfriends want me as their head honcho in going to these parties. With the boys, I was just as popular... hahahahaha.. talk about my ego back then... getting all the guys to call and text me... ask me out.. the problem was i knew that i was a prized catch then, that i can have any guy i like... i played hard to get.. i was probably the biggest flirt in campus...
As much as i denied it then, when i contemplate on it now.. whew.. i was capable of a lot of things... hehehehe...
this is to be continued... i'll finish this up later...
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