back on a rainy monday...

It's a Monday and I'm back on track. I'm back online which only means I'm back at work. Oh well, it's still raining. The whole weekend passed by like a blur. I didn't even notice that it was already a Monday. I came in early today, why? because I really wanted to see a movie... I went to a movie prior to coming to work. I watched the break up with Lei, read some reviews last week and I really wanted to see the movie aside from the fact that I'm a big Jennifer Aniston fan, actually, i'm a big "FRIENDS" fan so i kinda dig anything "FRIENDS-y".
The movie was ok. Jen Aniston was hot. She is soooo sexy and her tan is fantastic. That's what happens when you get over a break up, right? You have to look your best and try to get it over with asap. In her case, she was smoking.
Over the weekend, I went out with my sister and her husband for my super cute nephew's check up. I was so tired after that I fell asleep. Sunday, I went to church at 4:30 and then waited for Lyn to pick me up. We then went to Antipolo and got lost in KingKong land... Hahahaha.. as in.. We have all been to Ferm's castle in Antipolo but for some reason we missed a turn along the way and ended up going the wrong direction. It took us 2 hrs to reach the place when we could reach it in 30. We travelled more than 10 kms before we realized we were lost and turned back. It was a kind of scary out of the way area... No cars and it was dark.. Oh well, we learned our lesson and I guess now we know how to get to Antipolo. After eating in Antipolo and watching the finale of Ghost Whisperer, we headed back to the city and went to BigSky for a couple of drinks... i got home at past 4 in the morning and realized that my hair smells like hell. I tried to take a rest before taking a bath but I ended up falling asleep and I woke up at 8am feeling really tired because of the way I was lying on my bed. I then took a bath and slept... That was better.
Nothing spectacular on my weekend... now i'm back to work but im not feeling it. I have lost the feeling a few months back... The feeling that you just want to go home and rest. Or find something that you enjoy too much to be called work. I'm looking for something new to look forward to, where I don't have to drag my ass off to work. Somewhere I'd be excited to dress up for. Does that make any sense? or not at all? I've been in for an hour now, have to get back to work... I have tons of work but for some reason, I don't even want to open a single report. What a way to start my workweek, huh?
Adrian's not yet online either... There's noone to keep me company while I start my work... I have another story to tell, but I have to start setting the groove... Blog to be continued...
Rainy days and Mondays always gets me down...

hip and trendy.. dream on

I’ve been blogging for a few months now but even if I do express my thoughts on my blogs I never had the encouragement to share it, not even with my closest friends… Well, that was the situation until today. My good friend Adrian asked me to create a blog, I told him I already have 1 but I am not ready to share… he told me to be creative with it and design it. I’m the person who doesn’t have much of a creative bone in my body. I am the least creative person. I don’t really mess with designs because I’m not really qualified to be in the “good” category. My friend Adrian is the creative one so I asked him for help… Voila! I was just so excited to see my blog looking so hip and trendy… Wow could not even begin to describe my excitement… It’s soooo cool. Too cool that I made a blog. It makes blogging more interesting.

Enough about my hip and trendy blog… It’s Friday and it’s that day of the week that I always look forward to. Whenever I come in on Mondays, Friday seems a long way to go… but whenever Thursday is around… I’m just too excited for Friday. Not that I have anything special to do this weekend but Friday for me means I have 2 days of rest and hmnn… what else?? 2 days of no PC in front of me. No deadlines, no emails to reply to… Relax… Lounge… Eat and watch a movie…. That kind of thing…

Well, if I have a boyfriend, weekends will definitely be more exciting, right? But as it is… I am single and hip… or so I think. Or that’s what I keep on telling myself. Does that make any sense at all??

If I have a boyfriend, what could I possibly be doing this weekend? Well, I have to see my boyfriend this Saturday right, we will have to go to the mall and do some shopping for my apartment. I need to replenish some of my stocks. Then we can go bring back my groceries back and lounge in my apartment… And then go out for dinner and a movie… Wait, is there a good movie showing? Well… I will indulge my baby and we will watch Nacho Libre even if I’m not into it… Well, he’ll go watch The Break Up with me next time… After the dinner, he’ll bring me home and stay for a nightcap…
Well, I can dream, right? I haven’t had a relationship for a few years now. I miss the feeling of being in love… Taking care of someone and being taken cared of.

That’s all for a Friday… I’m currently listening to the song Always Love by Nada Surf. I like their version… Its indulging.

Have a good weekend and I’ll be back on Monday!

give it up

the mood is definitely set to be sad and sullen - same with the weather. It has been raining non stop for the past 2-3 days and while its July and we all know that July is a rainy season, i still can't help but cooperate with the weather... meaning, feel blue. I have been seeing an old friend for the past 2 weeks and it suddently went on a halt. Sometimes guys do that... out of nowhere - you are just left hanging. just left hanging. I hate it.
I'm 25 and should know better. I have been dating since I was 16 and I am like a dating guru but here I am contemplating on what i should do next with this a**hole of a guy. One of my good friends told me.. well, he might be disappointed because I wouldn't sleep with him but for the love of God... why will I sleep with him??? We are in the Philippines, and last time I checked its not NYC. Well, maybe I am not yet as liberated as I claim to be but what the heck.
Needless to say, I have been in the worst of moods over the weekend. And again for the 4th time since Saturday night, i will not initiate anything. Well i texted him last Saturday and last Sunday and the last was last night (monday night). I will not text him nor will I call him. The nerve. I am just hurt, rather my pride is hurt...
And while I have been blogging, my playlist just gave me a bright idea. I love this song but I focused on the lyrics just now...
I will not give up cigarettes just yet though.

Coffee & Cigarettes

I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday
I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday
But it’s trueI’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you
I thought that if I didn’t go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn’t go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday
But it’s trueI’m still blue
But I finally know what to doI must quit, I must quit, you
I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday
But it’s trueI’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, youI must quit, I must quit, you

Well.. yeah.. I will soon "try" to quit smoking... I'm at it full blast again.. with all the stress..
its almost 8.. have to get going.. blog tmw... =)

old friend, new spark

for some reason, i feel bad today... i went out on a date with an old friend.. a guy friend whom i've known since i was in college. He is younger than me, 3 years younger so that means I was already in college, he was still in high school. Well, let's just say we had a small thing then but we were both in college at that time... :) I was, i think on my last year - i spent 5 years in college and he was a 2nd year i believe.. anyway, he called me last week and I was surprised to find out he's here because last I've heard was that he was in New Jersey with his family. We then agreed to meet, he went to my apartment and we talked about a lot of things.. Well, he's older now and he has changed a little... he will always be the younger guy i kissed in college. it was fun to see him and reminisce our old antics. Boy, do i feel old. Well, that's life right.
From last week, we've been seeing each other, texting at least 100 messages a day... asking what each other is up to... To make it short, we were back to how we were 5 years ago. The difference is, i feel different, I like him - may it be that I don't have a relationship so I am considering a relationship even with a long time younger friend?? bummer, i don't want to think that I am desperate but i feel different.. i like him. and the sad thing is he's going back to the states next month. and the sweetest thing happened yesterday, we were cuddling and kissing when out of the blue i asked him if he remembers the first time we kissed, he told me when, where and how it happened, he even remembers it in a more detailed manner than i do. i was so surprised and i was just so flattered. i felt special. i think not even the guy i've been loving all these years with no reciprocation! and to no avail - remembers the first time we kissed, yet here he is... my good old friend telling me in detail our first sweet encounter... wow.. it felt good.
will i make the most out of our relationship while he's here? or do i bail out now to avoid getting hurt? we are not talking about relationships and i am happy with the set up but will i still be happy when he leaves? i also don't believe in long distance relationships - i have tried being in that type of relationship and it didn't even last 5 months...
will i be strong enough to keep my friendship with him even if i'm feeling different?
am i just desperate to be in a relationship that i am holding on to a friend?
when do i draw the line when the line is undefined... im confused...