my bestfriend is getting married...

"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us."
-The Wonder Years

I am going "home home" today... Well, when I say home, I'm actually referring to my good old hometown not my small and cluttered apartment. My besfriend of more than 20years is getting married tomorrow and I'm blogging because i can't seem to figure out what I will say on my speech. I'm at a loss for words so maybe writing about it will help me get my thoughts clear. I am going to be her maid of honor. I will be the maid of honor for the 3rd time (I'm such an endearing person, I know!). First was with my cousin, then my sister and now... my bestfriend. For some reason, being her maid of honor feels a lot different, maybe because we're not blood related and the relationship we have is definitely more than that. My bestfriend is like a sister -- a sister who grew up with a different family.

We first met when we were in grade school, 1st grade. I can still remember all the games we played after school. Getting all sweaty and dirty running around the school premises. Annoying our teachers with our chants and screams. We loved buying dirty ice cream, ice scramble or even cotton candy at the vendors outside the school gate while waiting for the time to go home. After the 1st grade, she was moved to a different section but that did not stop us from being friends -- and I was 7 at that time (hahahaha). When we were in grade school, it was difficult to keep in touch but we managed to squeeze in our his and hellos. We had different circle of friends because we hanged-out with the people we spend our classes with. On our last year in grade school, we got to hang out again as she was moved back to our section. It was one of the best memories I have with her, I remembered telling her at the end of the school year of 5th grade, "I saw your name! you will be moved to our section next year!" and I was so excited. Finally, we will get to spend more time together. Being in the same classroom almost 8hrs a day, 5 times a week gave us more time to get to know each other, share each other's secrets and be good friends for the upcoming years.

We shared stories about our first crush, horrible first kisses. We chat about boys, annoying parents, boring teachers, latest movies, celebrities and more... I can't remember a topic we didn't talk about. We had never ending telephone conversations talking about anything we thought funny or stupid. We talked and talked and talked. Ours was a very open communication. Whenever she thinks I got it all wrong, she lectures me about it and she never fails to enlighten me with her ideas, may it be good or bad. She's always there to help whenever I'm in trouble and come to think of it -- I was always the one in trouble. I was always the one who needed her help. Whatever time of the day, wherever we were... We have always been there for each other.

In college, we talked even more. She had boyfriend issues and I was always trying to get out of a relationship. She was the one who pointed out I have commitment issues and that I have issues with rejection. Well, who doesn't??!! She was the one who told me I needed to know what it felt like to fail when my heart was broken the first time. There was even a time when she joined me in getting drunk when I was too devastated with a break-up. The funny thing is -- on her first heartbreak, i told her to go out and have some fun. We were 2 very different persons who managed to be friends all these years. Once, after a break up, she was asking me if I was ok and I said, I'm good and that I already have a date that night. And when she had a boyfriend for a couple of years, i advised her to break up with the guy to find a new and more exciting boyfriend (well, she DID not follow my advise -- and she's marrying him tomorrow).

When I think about our decades of friendship, it makes me smile. When I think of all that we've been through, i feel sooo lucky. We have always been there for each other and we will hopefully keep on bugging each other in the years to come. I will always be the bad influence and she will always make me see the brighter side of life. Her strong will has helped us both in a lot of life's challenges. and my hilarious and most of the time stupid stories helped get us through the boring days.

My bestfriend is getting married and... he's a very very lucky guy.

"How do you know you've found your best friend. When you are ready to talk to them about anything, even though they know everything about you already."

october na...

Para sa kagaya ko na sobrang bored sa work at literal na nagbibilang ng oras on a daily basis before its time to go home... masyadong mabilis matatapos ang taon na 'to. Shet! October na! I can't even seem to remember what happened the past 9 months. What have I been doing???!!! Shet. Ang sarap magrant ng magrant on very unimportant things... Walang bago. Everytime na may kaibigan ako na mag aask, musta na? Balita? Anong bago? I happen to have the same answer over and over again. "Walang bago,same old" Shet! Possible pala un? Nasa stage na ba ko na boring na ung buhay and i just need to go with the flow? Or do I still go out and find what's missing. Duh?! Hmnnn... Wait... Feeling ko galet na ung tono ng entry ko... hehehe.. well, im not galet or anything. I'm just ranting. Sulking... :(

If time machines are real -- at what stage in your life would you want to go back to?
Napaisip ako bigla. Sure, I have my regrets on my actions in the past but is there really a time that I want to go back to? We live, we learn. From all the mistakes na nagawa naten... Naisip mo na na mali un... di ba? And alam mong nde mo na un gagawin ulet. If ever, I get to go back... I guess, its not going to be because I want to correct something but because I want to relive something. Lahat ng masasayang moments sa buhay ko... babalikan ko... Family, college, friends, sisses and brods... I would just want to take a peak on how fun life used to be... before I turned to the boring (but pretty) old knob that I am now...

October na... I need to do something before the year ends... before I turn a year older. Holy S@#$!