give it up

the mood is definitely set to be sad and sullen - same with the weather. It has been raining non stop for the past 2-3 days and while its July and we all know that July is a rainy season, i still can't help but cooperate with the weather... meaning, feel blue. I have been seeing an old friend for the past 2 weeks and it suddently went on a halt. Sometimes guys do that... out of nowhere - you are just left hanging. just left hanging. I hate it.
I'm 25 and should know better. I have been dating since I was 16 and I am like a dating guru but here I am contemplating on what i should do next with this a**hole of a guy. One of my good friends told me.. well, he might be disappointed because I wouldn't sleep with him but for the love of God... why will I sleep with him??? We are in the Philippines, and last time I checked its not NYC. Well, maybe I am not yet as liberated as I claim to be but what the heck.
Needless to say, I have been in the worst of moods over the weekend. And again for the 4th time since Saturday night, i will not initiate anything. Well i texted him last Saturday and last Sunday and the last was last night (monday night). I will not text him nor will I call him. The nerve. I am just hurt, rather my pride is hurt...
And while I have been blogging, my playlist just gave me a bright idea. I love this song but I focused on the lyrics just now...
I will not give up cigarettes just yet though.

Coffee & Cigarettes

I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday
I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday
But it’s trueI’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you
I thought that if I didn’t go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn’t go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday
But it’s trueI’m still blue
But I finally know what to doI must quit, I must quit, you
I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday
But it’s trueI’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, youI must quit, I must quit, you

Well.. yeah.. I will soon "try" to quit smoking... I'm at it full blast again.. with all the stress..
its almost 8.. have to get going.. blog tmw... =)