Wednesday, December 10, 2008

my own nonsense...

December is most people's busiest month with all the parties here and there, shopping for christmas presents, out of town holidays, reunions and a lot of other stuff. It's the end of the year and people are busy. I get it. Fine.

I'm ranting... I celebrate my birthday in December. I used to love being a December baby but for this year... I just don't. I'm thinking of a better way to blog about... about... my senti mode? hehehe.. I can't seem to put it into words.

Happiness is a state of mind. When a person says she's happy, what am I supposed to think? I got confused. Am I happy or I just feel happy?

I am bored hence the senseless blog.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

my bestfriend is getting married...

"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us."
-The Wonder Years

I am going "home home" today... Well, when I say home, I'm actually referring to my good old hometown not my small and cluttered apartment. My besfriend of more than 20years is getting married tomorrow and I'm blogging because i can't seem to figure out what I will say on my speech. I'm at a loss for words so maybe writing about it will help me get my thoughts clear. I am going to be her maid of honor. I will be the maid of honor for the 3rd time (I'm such an endearing person, I know!). First was with my cousin, then my sister and now... my bestfriend. For some reason, being her maid of honor feels a lot different, maybe because we're not blood related and the relationship we have is definitely more than that. My bestfriend is like a sister -- a sister who grew up with a different family.

We first met when we were in grade school, 1st grade. I can still remember all the games we played after school. Getting all sweaty and dirty running around the school premises. Annoying our teachers with our chants and screams. We loved buying dirty ice cream, ice scramble or even cotton candy at the vendors outside the school gate while waiting for the time to go home. After the 1st grade, she was moved to a different section but that did not stop us from being friends -- and I was 7 at that time (hahahaha). When we were in grade school, it was difficult to keep in touch but we managed to squeeze in our his and hellos. We had different circle of friends because we hanged-out with the people we spend our classes with. On our last year in grade school, we got to hang out again as she was moved back to our section. It was one of the best memories I have with her, I remembered telling her at the end of the school year of 5th grade, "I saw your name! you will be moved to our section next year!" and I was so excited. Finally, we will get to spend more time together. Being in the same classroom almost 8hrs a day, 5 times a week gave us more time to get to know each other, share each other's secrets and be good friends for the upcoming years.

We shared stories about our first crush, horrible first kisses. We chat about boys, annoying parents, boring teachers, latest movies, celebrities and more... I can't remember a topic we didn't talk about. We had never ending telephone conversations talking about anything we thought funny or stupid. We talked and talked and talked. Ours was a very open communication. Whenever she thinks I got it all wrong, she lectures me about it and she never fails to enlighten me with her ideas, may it be good or bad. She's always there to help whenever I'm in trouble and come to think of it -- I was always the one in trouble. I was always the one who needed her help. Whatever time of the day, wherever we were... We have always been there for each other.

In college, we talked even more. She had boyfriend issues and I was always trying to get out of a relationship. She was the one who pointed out I have commitment issues and that I have issues with rejection. Well, who doesn't??!! She was the one who told me I needed to know what it felt like to fail when my heart was broken the first time. There was even a time when she joined me in getting drunk when I was too devastated with a break-up. The funny thing is -- on her first heartbreak, i told her to go out and have some fun. We were 2 very different persons who managed to be friends all these years. Once, after a break up, she was asking me if I was ok and I said, I'm good and that I already have a date that night. And when she had a boyfriend for a couple of years, i advised her to break up with the guy to find a new and more exciting boyfriend (well, she DID not follow my advise -- and she's marrying him tomorrow).

When I think about our decades of friendship, it makes me smile. When I think of all that we've been through, i feel sooo lucky. We have always been there for each other and we will hopefully keep on bugging each other in the years to come. I will always be the bad influence and she will always make me see the brighter side of life. Her strong will has helped us both in a lot of life's challenges. and my hilarious and most of the time stupid stories helped get us through the boring days.

My bestfriend is getting married and... he's a very very lucky guy.

"How do you know you've found your best friend. When you are ready to talk to them about anything, even though they know everything about you already."

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

october na...

Para sa kagaya ko na sobrang bored sa work at literal na nagbibilang ng oras on a daily basis before its time to go home... masyadong mabilis matatapos ang taon na 'to. Shet! October na! I can't even seem to remember what happened the past 9 months. What have I been doing???!!! Shet. Ang sarap magrant ng magrant on very unimportant things... Walang bago. Everytime na may kaibigan ako na mag aask, musta na? Balita? Anong bago? I happen to have the same answer over and over again. "Walang bago,same old" Shet! Possible pala un? Nasa stage na ba ko na boring na ung buhay and i just need to go with the flow? Or do I still go out and find what's missing. Duh?! Hmnnn... Wait... Feeling ko galet na ung tono ng entry ko... hehehe.. well, im not galet or anything. I'm just ranting. Sulking... :(

If time machines are real -- at what stage in your life would you want to go back to?
Napaisip ako bigla. Sure, I have my regrets on my actions in the past but is there really a time that I want to go back to? We live, we learn. From all the mistakes na nagawa naten... Naisip mo na na mali un... di ba? And alam mong nde mo na un gagawin ulet. If ever, I get to go back... I guess, its not going to be because I want to correct something but because I want to relive something. Lahat ng masasayang moments sa buhay ko... babalikan ko... Family, college, friends, sisses and brods... I would just want to take a peak on how fun life used to be... before I turned to the boring (but pretty) old knob that I am now...

October na... I need to do something before the year ends... before I turn a year older. Holy S@#$!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

classmates lng tyo...

I checked on the blogs I've posted here and meron akong blog nung 2006 about my crazy and stupid never-ending love martyrdom for this guy. Well, ung love story ko nag start nung 2001 and natapos ang mga ilusyon ko this year hence the reason nasasabi ko ng crazy and stupid ang katangahan ko. Thank you Lord for small miracles! :D
Pano natapos? Simple lng nman. Ini add nya ko sa multiply. and sa relationship, nilagay nya "CLASSMATE". Naloka ko. Imagine, all these years na naghohope ako at paminsan minsan eh nagpe pray na den ng 3rd or 4th chance between us(ok, i know, tanga tlaga ko!), biglang Poof! blag! KaBlam! Aba eh ung hinahanap ko palang closure all these years eh pde nman pala online! Akalain mo un?
In a way nman nabigla ako. No, understatement un. Para sa ken, u put "classmate" sa mga taong literally naka share mo lng ng classroom... naging ka exchange notes sa class.
Well, yes, classmates kme the first time we met -- 2 subjects lng on our last year in college. Pero cguro, for me... nde lng kme naging classmates eh. Haay. Naging kme eh. We had a relationship. We had a fun relationship. And nde natapos ung relationship nmen nung college. Even after college, nagwowork na kme, we'd still go out and trade secrets, have coffee, pinapag download pa kita ng mga kanta!
Ang weird lng ng feeling na alam mong may relationship kyo tapos, ilalagay nya classmate. It was dumb.
Ang gusto ko lng nman "FRIEND" -- nothing more.
Well... here's to asking for too much! And dahil nainis ako sa "classmate" ko.. dinecline ko ung request nya to be my contact... hehehehe.. bitter ba?

:D

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Eight month of the year...

How could I possibly have missed 7 months? What happened?! I did not even notice the months passing by. To think I have been spending the most boring hours inside a confined office space... with time slowly dragging by. How could that be possible?! It's almost unimaginable... (I'm just being dramatic)

Well, i just really want to rant about the fact that it's August and I can't think of anything of significance that has happened to me this year.
Hmnnn... I got my wish of living alone. That's pretty significant.
What else? Let me think for a minute here...

I'm still thinking... and I can't get anything more from my sleepy head. I haven't been on a date this year too, or have I? Oh yeah, I went out for lunch with a guy I met at a wedding last year. (the bride set me up with him) Not exactly a date though he's been bugging me and telling me he's been missing me. We've known each other for like 30minutes. Goodness! Don't freak me out dude!

Going back to my year... I thought 2008 was my year. 4 more months to go. I still have 4 months to make it worthy of something to remember.

This is tough... i better get some sleep.

Friday, July 25, 2008

a very loong and exhausting week...

This week is probably one of the longest weeks of my year. It felt like each single day was dragging. It also didn't help that it's been raining. Getting out of bed when it's raining sucks! (It sucks more to be inside the office when its raining and you'd want to go for hot chocolate and cuddle)
I literally counted each passing minute... (Please let me out of this misery!)
Either, there's not a lot of work at the office these days or I am such a lazy ass. Hmnnn.. Which is which?
My vote - A little bit of both.
For the past week, after the daily 4 hours worth of reports, 1 hour of lunch, 30 minutes of cigarette breaks and 1hour of reading my emails... The rest of the day is spent just counting the minutes until its time to log out and go home.
Tough job.
It's not very easy doing nothing inside the office. It's kind of embarrassing when you see other people busy with work and you're like... uhhmm.. surfing the net and playing trivia in facebook... hahahaha...
Well.. Saturday finally arrived and I'm going to start my weekend right by getting some good, undisturbed sleep...

Good night!

Monday, July 21, 2008

one bad day...

I went home for the weekend and committed to a friend that we will watch "The Dark Knight" before going to work on Monday. With that in mind, i woke up early on Monday and left home before 10am since its almost 3 hours with traffic.
Movie will start at 2pm so we had to meet up before that. I got in my apartment at 1pm, had to take a quick shower and dash to the mall. And since I was in a real hurry or else I'll be late, i wasn't able to dry my very long and very dry hair (i promise i'll have it fixed this week) so my hair was very limp... (you know how a good hair day makes you feel good? well it's the same thing when you're having a hair day crisis)...
On the cab on the way to the mall around 2 blocks away from my apertment, i realized I left my mobile phone at my apartment. Good job! I had to go back and run 4 flights of stairs on my boots.. I actually contemplated for 5seconds if i had to go back and get my phone... Just 5 secs though, I'm one of those people who can't live without my cellphone. I just need it all the time. My security blanket.
By the time I got back in the cab, I was sweating (take note i just took a shower 30mins ago). It was really hot outside...
With all the fuss i encountered, I was 5minutes early for the movie, so I started texting my friend. He was not replying. I wondered if he forgot... but it was impossible since we were texting a few hours ago checking if we're still going to see the movie. Hmnnnn...
Since he mentioned earlier that day that he had an interview before the movie, i assumed that it run late and he was not replying because he was in the middle of a possibly "life altering" interview. I wasn't mad or anything.
However, after all the hurdles i had to encounter just to get there on time, i wanted to throw a tantrum...
I even thought, is this the time I have to watch a movie alone? That's one of my things to do for this year...

Well, i was right, interview run late... and he was really sorry.. I wasn't really mad at him, it was an important interview.. I was just thinking... I really want to see Dark Knight. I've been hearing raves about the movie all weekend and I had to see the movie for myself (and of course to share tidbits with friends).

Well, that's it I guess...
I'm not really fond of Mondays...

Saturday, July 19, 2008

surprise party...

It's one of my good friends birthday yesterday and her boyfriend asked me for help on the guest list. I was assigned to invite our friends from the office. We started planning 2 weeks ago and getting people to commit is not really that easy.
I started telling people about the surprise party and that they're invited. They had a lot of questions... I wonder why don't they just say yes.
It's free food and booze on a Saturday night, right?
Anyway, i was able to bring 10 people to the party so needless to say I was good at my task. =) It needed a lot of texting for reminders and calling people on the way, asking regarding their whereabouts, etc.
The party was good. The birthday girl was surprised. We all had fun.

Moral lesson: When somebody asks you to attend a surprise party... JUST SAY YES! IT's A LOT OF FUN!!! =0 because its a surprise... the look on the face of the celebrant (i remember that this should be celebrator as per my English teacher, but it really sounds weird)... is priceless...

SURPRISE PARTIES ROCK!!!

tata! gotta get some sleep now...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

life is good to me

Every year, i make it a point to make a list of things i want to accomplish for the year, however for this year i didn't make one. I didn't write a list but I thought of the things I would like included on the list... Well, for the past 3 years, i'm like 5 out of 10 (since i usually write 10 things). For this year, i focused on things that will make me grow us a person. So, Last January... i asked my roommate to move out... i gave her 6 months(she was asking for a year! can you believe that???) she just moved out 2 weeks ago and i've been asking myself why haven't i thought of living alone years ago???
Well, for starters... it's expensive. Shouldering the rent by myself is not really that easy. But then, it makes me more responsible with my finances, right?
I would really like to think so. I got my new bestfriend(my new Compaq laptop.. wohoo!!!) and I really love it. I got my DSL installed this week and now I'm blogging. I love my life.
I've been so blessed. Well, not to the extent that I would want but I'm still on top.
What's missing??? Just that special someone... and yes, everybody's asking why i don't have one. At times, it makes me think... yeah, why don't I have a significant other... Hell! I'm a pretty sight... quick witted individual... sometimes it's also insulting... hehehe... i'm very particular with my hygiene so I'm pretty sure I smell good.. I can be mean but its really just being honest(brutally honest).
Darn it.. Oh well.. that's life for me.
i still think life is good to me. more to come... and definitely more to love.

tata! gotta take a shower!

Friday, June 06, 2008

How do I sum up my week? It was long… very very long…
I almost thought it will never reach Friday.
There are times during the day when I am literally counting the seconds of each minute as it passes by.

Finally, I got hold of Thursday and then it’s Friday. I love Thursdays, because the next day is the last day of work week and I can start to relax my mind and rest for the weekend.

I spend 45 hours every week in the confinements of the office.
9hours a day, 95% of it front of the computer.
It drains all the energy out of my system.

I just wish weekends will also drag that you almost feel like it’s taking too long before you finally have to get back to work. I wish!

Be careful what you wish for… Cause you might just get it all…

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

what happened to me?

I just checked my blog and realized I haven’t been writing for the past months. Last post was March 2007. Have I been busy that I did not have time to update my blog?
First, I have resigned from my previous job October last year and went back to my previous "previous job". Call it insane but I just wasn’t happy and had to move on rather had to move back.

I am now on my new-old job and I can’t really say I’m completely happy but this is definitely a relief compared to my last job. I also moved from my last apartment to a new one.
My roommate will be moving out next month (Thank God!) and I will have the place all to myself (Yahoo!!!).

I have been busy with those TV shows too… I watch almost everything on TV. Well, at least everything that catches my attention.

I wish I got more time to travel though. It’s June and I’m not sure if 2008 is my year. I wasn’t able to jot down my 10 Things to Do for 2008 and almost half the year has gone.
My lazy bones are ruling my life.

By the way I got a new laptop and it’s kinda cool. I hope it gives me inspiration to write more.

Gotta go.